saturday aft. post*

Went to sleep last night determined that come morning, I am not going to convince myself I am too lazy to go for lectures and then few hours later find myself merrily roaming around colombo/mount beach window shopping and people watching. Like last Saturday! Then I actually woke up to this morning. With soft rain drops on the roof and a sluggish gloominess seeping through the blinds.

So here I am, happily sedated by the weather, a hearty breakfast plus the after effects of a long working week. Prepped up to watch a movie but I am actually LONGINNNNG for the beach. Again. I am somewhat addicted to the rolling waves, the assortment of humans and the myriad of colors in the setting sri lankan sun. And a chilled beer ofcourse.
And as I type this I wonder whether I sound like THAT hikka type crowd pleasing ganja smoking bikini clad, bf hugging persona.. arghh. You know the type, yes? What with social networking and reduced connectivity tariffs all of Colombo somewhat seems blending into few kinds of people. Everyone seems to be wanting to become this one fad. Now if I was Cerno, I would certainly be able to present this in a scientific fact finding style of writing, but who would I be kidding eh.
Which makes me wonder, what kind of person I sound like on this blog.. I am not that much of an active blogger, but whatever that finds it way on this, is more of who I am than what I might seem like in the real world. looking back my first ever post I was quite hesitant in what I might put in here. It was obviously easy to open up to a blogging community when you are annonymous, but with time, I've come not to mind certain information that might reveal who I am.. and now I am pretty sure I am quite pseudo-anonymous as whackster puts it, as it’s not that hard to connect this n that and figure certain things.
Oh well..
Note the unfiltered unstructured line of thought on this post itself? That is quite normal in my terrains, apart from certain occasions. And for that reason I love this blog. More the reason why I want to get back into writing in it more often..

And guess what.. I am just about to head out, riding on that whim n whine inside my head.. will complete this when iam back!

*Back after a small saturday afternoon shopping spree, a Viennese brownie with hot chocolate sauce, a movie, a Sunday and an empty wallet.. and this post is not complete but I shall put it up anyway, before I rush into the week, or I will never get on with it.

Thrilogy : on June 12th, three worlds will collide. And not a word will be spoken..

People of the world, or in this case SL, don't miss out on this musical fusion..

Pioneering instrumental fusion-band ‘Thriloka’: enter stage right.
The 18-piece ‘Contemporary Chamber Orchestra’, conducted by Manilal Weerakoon: enter stage left.

Witnesses to the musical marriage: enter main hall.

Doors close at 7:45pm.

Lights dim.

And from the most intimate of all sounds – silence – we begin the consummation of polarized musical entities. Warming you up to a rock’n’roller-coaster ride through the softly grooving temptations of exotica via the visions of psychadelia to the screaming pulsations of molten metal. Thriloka + Orchestra + You = Fusion at its nucleus-splitting hottest. *

Get your tickets soon guys, it's this friday..

*So yes, I shamelessly copied most of this post from their event page, but in my defence I am rushing out to work (workaholic in me is in full swing).

peace and one nation lu..

Heard about it at work, I didn’t feel a thing. Went and checked the news online and even with the newsflash with a huge picture of the man himself right in front of me, I felt this awkwardness, slight uncomfortableness. Should I be celebrating something? At home right now, went through a bit of local news on tv, heard about all the ‘events’ from several sources and I still feel the same. I don’t understand the crackers or all the jubilant fb status updates. Rather I can’t relate to them. And I can’t place this feeling. Does this hesitant feeling label an unpatriotic? They say it’s over, but why don’t I feel it’s over? The doubt. Fuelled by years of conditioning, has it rendered me feelingless or is this apathy at its core?

Plus how can we be lighting crackers, dancing around when they are several hundred thousands of people only with the clothing in their body suffering up north?

I don’t want to be an armchair politician. I don’t even talk about this with anyone yet alone assert any opinion. Just penning down my thoughts at a day our country declared the bloodshed is over. Whether it’s really over from today, we will only know with time.

The barricades will have to come down. The divisions of a them and us in paper and in mind, will have to dissolve and everyone should be able to treat everyone else with dignity, trust and respect. And all those people who have suffered at both ends?, the real challenge would be winning them over. Wining their hearts and minds to put the past behind and live together in peace. I think I will feel truly a one nation, when I see this happening..

Time (and other things)…

So now that I am toiling in the chilly air-conditioning drinking free coffee and milo and contributing to the GDP of Sri Lanka by staring at a big rectangular object and judging a few unfortunate individuals on what they during their day looking at a slightly smaller rectangular contraption + misleading few filthy-rich westerners on what to do with their illegally earned green, I have been very affectionately labeled a corporate-bastard by the not-so-cynical-gone-all-soft-one (she’s looking at baby products in Arpico I hear). Her whores are her men!

On a mental check, I still haven’t gone all bastardly on anyone, even though I was given a chance few weeks back. My first ever ‘difficulty’ was a brat with a too big of an ego on his shell of a head, sending me irritating text messages on whether I am deserving to be his friend or not. Seriously. I found myself with my mouth open in disbelief immediately followed by flames shooting out my ears for the first few instances of these hysterical ‘friendship episodes’. The cheek of the guy, to base his ‘debate’ coz I didn’t reply a sms on whether I am on his school’s side or not for some stupid bigmatch GIVEN that I never even tried to BE his friend and I am his immediate boss! After a few patient replies I realized I am talking to a complete dickhead and then it became a source of entertainment minus a few instances of me grinding my teeth and being all civil to him while strangling him blue in my head. I was sincerely concerned in the beginning, given that this is the first time I am in charge of a group of people in a corporate level, but I am allergic to bullshit and arrogance, especially coming from a kid who thinks he can become the company CEO within 3 months! (well he said he wanted to get promoted to my level in a few months which got me laughing hysterically (thank god in my head) coz sonny with your attitude, you wont be going anywhere for sometime).

Not trying to scratch my own back here, but I am quite a nice person ‘generally’ :P even to the people I can’t stand I CAN be civil upto a level. But this was pushing the limit over the line and the equator and the bloody sun. And what frustrated me to a level that I am writing this right now is that I joined this place thinking I’ll get exposure to some real issues, not melodramatic highschool comedy!


That done, I’m still getting used to waking up so damn early (6am!) and following a routine. Not having been in a routine for almost 4 years, it’s a good feeling since I perform best when in routine. Which also means uni-life was one whole tangled up mess which I am quite proud of actually.

Now why did I title this post time??

Not quite sure, but I think it’s because this post was meant to be something about how time has being zipping past. People I know are popping out babies and I wonder why?! To realize I am not as 22 as I think I am (and isn’t it strange how many I’s are there in this para? ) I still can’t imagine myself married yet alone cleaning poop and wiping cute asses. But yea recently I’ve been wanting the whole TLC side of things of having a boyfriend and to be honest sometimes it sucks. Today morning was such and such, but a group of 10 year old brats cheered me up by bullying me. I think they help me more than I am helping them to learn. I manage to de-stress by shouting and screaming at them and end up laughing when they just sit their grinning. Impossible but very sweet, most of them.

I just read through what I have typed and if anyone got through to this point, I am sorry. Everything I want to say is coming through too fast to get hold of and sort out and I jsut HAD to type ‘em all. I need to do this writing business more often than this. But time?!



Ooh btw..
Check this site for more.

metamorphosis ..

I’ve been dragging my heels when it comes to lot of things lately. Blogging included. Reason being that, I am gearing up for a substantial change in lifestyle and environment, and it’s gotten me all anxious..

I’ve had a very easy life as far as basic material needs go, and while truly grateful for that, I also realize that I can’t honestly put myself in a young adult’s life who’s handed down responsibilities of life the moment he or she is done with basic education. Knowing few such people, it amazes and inspires me at the same time, and makes me wonder, what I’d do if it actually came to that. Would we all rise up to the challenge when the calling comes? Natural basic survival cue or does it take a certain strength of character which not all of us might possess?
Rhetorical, maybe.

I haven’t had many grave responsibilities to lever through for the past odd years of adulthood, and I wonder whether it’s enough to prepare me for what is it come in the next few months. Minus a vague idea, I honestly don’t know where I am going, and though the saying goes that it’s not the destination but the path that matters, I feel it inadequate not to have a specific detailed goal. There are many things in life I want to do, and it bothers me that I am not satisfied with learning one thing. I have dabbled at several things academic wise and I like them all, and want to learn them all, plus more. Wiser ones tell me that it’s better to be/know one thing in whole rather than a lot of things. Yet I am intrigued by many, and if I had the resources I would go out and get ‘em all. For now I am sticking by a safer path, dare I say maybe a cowardly one, one that will assure a steady fulfilling income. A path I think I can excel in, but not my foremost choice if I had a one. Maybe I do, and I am too cowardly. This is why I admire those creative ones, the simple artists of all kinds, who dare to go on a creative sensitive limb yet not much worry about materialistic side of things. I wish I was one, but being honest to myself I am not, I cannot survive without certain assurances. Those tiny little ideal dreams a lot of us have, snuck away in a corner ? Well I wish could be a carefree spirit,living in a beach house in a quaint little town, without much care in the world of how my next bread and butter will come by. Free to express. With a twist of a brush and a dab of exotic colour. A very simple comfortable life sans a lot of clutter. Ha! Anyone who knows me personally will know this is hardly how anyone would see me in one glance.

On another side, I’ve given a lot of space to myself on my personal life. The one that matters the most to me, and I think will drive my life one day. Right now I appear to be all careerheaded, but truth be told, deep inside I am far from it. I crave love, as any human might, and though I don’t see that as a weakness, there are some characteristics in me that I myself am scared of letting loose. Growing up has taught its hard lessons in many forms. One too many where I have wounded myself and others by getting too close to people, of not having the strength to call it quits when I see warning signs. And when I did decide to quit, I found out I am not so alone as I thought I'd be, and there’s always be someone to get you through such times. For the past one and half years, the ppl i've grown fond of, they may have not known me since childhood, not know everything I did in highschool or know what my fathers first name is, but sometimes by just being around, a sincere hug or a nudging with a simple ‘you okay ya’ and keeping you distracted, have provided me with much more than I could have asked for. For my part I haven’t been easy now and then, and very cryptic most of the time. But sometimes it’s easier that way. For everyone. And I think I will give myself more time, and for now my not-so-perfect bunch of hippies/weirdos/metalheads will do :)

I know now this is all one long ramble, feel free to stop anytime now.

Thinking of what kind of person you wish to be down the line in 10 years, whether people would remember you for your heart and strength of character, or the silly petty things and mistakes the might come your way. Whether you will actually have a heart and character at all, after your life has been put through the corporate-grinding-mill.. Wondering whether the veil is strong enough to protect what’s inside..Bracing yourself for the challenges of a commercial world, an ugly one at that, with plenty of twofaced characters to go around. Yet with its own dose of amusement and drama, I hear.

It’s sometimes sad that you can’t see the world in those same bright colours and borders anymore. The shades of grey (as cliché as it sounds) can be frustrating yet give you hope at the same time. I know I have grownup from the idealistic heart-on-a-sleeve girl I was, but I wonder whether it’s enough. And in the end whether I’ll be happy with the outcomes..

So such and such, my long hiatus of cocooning myself is over whether I like it or not, and soon I’d be super busy, where I have plunged myself into a demanding schedule, especially given that I’ve been lazying around blissfully ignorant for the past 6 months.

One stage over another metamorphosis to an unknown started...

One pair of nice feet please

“Nice clean feet too?? That’s it! take my word for it. If there ever is a thing as a soul mate, HE is yours woman! ”

That was the reaction by my comrade A, to a certain random yet very fitting, feet revelation about a guy. Realised how much I have obsessed over checking the random nice looking guy’s feet before all else. Anyone noticed a pleasant pair lately? My guess would be a no, since it’s very hard to come by SL men with presentable feet.
I really can’t recall when my foot fetish (if I may call it one) started.. Only memory is of overhearing some conversation when I was small about how men who actually bother to take care of their feet, at least keep it clean and trimmed, would make very good partners.
The logic was, ones feet are at a setting of getting easily dirty yet it is also located furthest from the face and rest of the upper body which we generally use to project our personality. Most people give little or no attention to their feet because of this very fact. Others can’t really see them, so why bother? That’s the attitude I’ve seeing from a lot of ‘em out there. Anyhow, yea, so the theory goes that a man who would actually spend time maintaining and taking care of a healthy pair of feet, will do so to his close friends and family as well, however the dirty the scene might get. No pedicures needed really, just everyday soap and water and a bit of trimming would do.

Anyhow, this has become somewhat of a fantasy theory now, where the feet checkup naturally happens regardless of the gender attached to it. Despite the theory, I still have a thing for nice feet and hands.

Subha aluth avurudhak veva

I remember in a bygone era, sleepily waking up on a April 14th morning in my grandparents house in Galle, to the aromas of vaious delicacies wafting from the typical gamey kitchen. About 15 of us cousins,all over mattresses on the hall, still groggy after late night games, waking up one by one to this aunt or that uncle coming and nudging us to get ready soon. It was crowded, but all of us managed to find a comfortable place to sleep in my grandparents’ house, which was modestly large, given that it saw through nine siblings. It was THE DAY of the year for all of us, where we got to see all the cousins, aunts and uncles in one house together. Imagine around 9 pairs of uncles and aunts and their kids, it totaled upto 30-40 people or more. Thus ensued a milky tea and a hurried breakfast of rice and ambulthiyal and lunumiris and kirihodi soaked in that smokey flavour from the dara-lipa.

For us it was then either rounds in the paddyfields, playing cricket, fighting around, playing cards, daam, exploring, and anything and everything we could think of. Time seemed eternal and we were free as we could ever be. Everyone knew the house and people around, we were safe to roam around the village and the paddy fields at the edge of the sprawling garden. Being the only girl grandchild for 7 years, and a tomboy at that, I remember playing and fighting with the boys. I was competitive as them when it came to cricket and demanded all fairness even when they lobbed the ball softly when I was batting or missed a catch on purpose. I remember the small fights, the small kids wanting to play with us and us shooing/bribing/tricking them off.

Then comes the much awaited nakath time to eat.. All of us fresh and hungry after a wash, sometimes from the well, sometimes from the tap outside, we'll all line up in fresh clothes, and my grand pa would feed everyone the first bite, from the eldest, my grandma and parents, to the youngest 3 month old infant. It was a long line of eager mouths. And one huge table of sweets and curries. :)

After a huge lunch and a bit of frolicking around we’d start worshipping all the elders. Every single person in the house got involved and for us kids we found excitement in the simple fact of worshipping all the 20 something odd adults. And due to the large number of people, the ganudenu was combined in, and all of us would tightly clutch the money we got, and count it all together later. And keep it hidden somewhere in our pockets. I remember getting the most from my grandfather and father and this one particular uncle. 100rps and 500rps were colossal amounts to us 10 year olds. In between all these crackers were set off, and I remember being jealous of some of my cousins coz my parents wouldn’t let me near a cracker yet along light one.

On some years, when the younger batch of little kids started growing up, us older ones even held avurudu games for them, and believe me there were enough kids to go around for plenty of brawls and blows and snot. Right now all of us cousins from my maternal side count up to 25, with the oldest being 31 and youngest being 4 years old. :)

I am wistful for that feeling. Sitting on a banister on the porch in my seeyas house sipping tea, watching the uncles and ayyas play cricket, watching the little ones play secret games of their own, listening to the female banter mixed with laughter and busyness coming from the kitchen, maybe a cricket match on the tv, some uncles reading the papers on the verandah, visitors coming and going commenting on how old we’re getting. I am grateful for these memories. Especially now, when my grandparents are very old and frail and live with us in Colombo, while the old mahagedara in Galle crumble down alone. Everyone’s too scattered around to make it to one house, and even if they do, it’s still not the same. It has to be Galle, it has to be that pale yellow home with its own little jungle, wells and paddyfields. And nothing like a one big huge family with random brawls, fairly shared by both kids and adults, yet plenty of smiles and good spirits to go around in the end.

I am glad my parents made the time within their busy schedules. And sometimes feel sorry for the modern child of nintendos, mobile phones and computer games.

Never did I think then, that these experiences as a child would be appreciated and cherished so dearly as an adult. Will always be treasured...

Subha aluth avurudhak veva everyone..